24 Feb

Dealing with the Crippling Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety is all natural. Even the most confident, macho guy has to deal with it from time to time. Different theories have been put in place explaining why men find it hard to approach smoking beauties.

Don’t beat yourself up for something that’s deeply ingrained in every man’s genetic code. An upward of 90 percent of single guyz out there meet a beautiful girl they are attracted to, but since they can’t pull it past their approach anxiety, they’ll retreat to their bunks and masturbate to the embedded spectacle of the tempting form they feasted their eyes on during the course of their day.

You don’t need to be among such guys. Not when there are solid tricks that you could employ and defeat the whammy that, we, men have to deal with every time we think about making a move that will get us laid.

First of all, before you even think of leaving your house and hitting the streets to approach anyone, you’ll have to come to term with the fact that you’re scared. Don’t convince yourself otherwise. Just admit it—you’re scared. And that is the biggest obstacle that you have between you and getting any smoking plate in bed with you.

So instead of trying to fight the dead fact, convince yourself that it’s okay to be scared. Tell yourself that your nervous. And that everyone feels that way—it’s just normal and that there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

After that you can take a deep breath—to slow you heart rate and work your way out of the flight mode you are in. Don’t rush into approaching anyone. Take a moment, evaluating your target. gathering all the facts you need, and putting all the pick-ups lines and negs you may need in your armoury.

Now it’s time to make the move. The best approach to take is try and steer clear from initiating a conversation. Instead, try talking to her as if you already know her. Most guys will rush into getting to know her name or boring her with questions about her whereabouts, but you can set off by creating intrigue.

The best way to do this is to avoid selling yourself or trying to impress the chick. Your best trick should be to reverse the role by giving them an opportunity to qualify themselves instead of nominating yourself as a suitable suitor.

Come to think of it, if she’s that pretty, odds are a good number of men are attracted to her and majority of them have already made a move. She at least gets hit on once a day, with men telling her how rich they are, the amount of wealth they possess and how they’re planning to lavish her with expensive gifts should she consider going out with them. She’s probably met artists, scholars, and whatnot.

Her filter got choices aplenty. The problem is that all these men have her placed so high on the pedestal and are busy one-uping each other trying to qualify themselves to her. What all these men are doing is demonstrating lower value, and as such make it appear like she’ll be doing them a favour should she agree to go out with them.

Think of yourself as Brad Pitt. You’re walking into a room full of all kinds of beautiful women. Many of them will certainly be gravitating towards you. You won’t have to qualify yourself but instead filtering them to make your pick.

How to Create Intrigue
The best way to create intrigue the first few minutes of approaching her is to think about something that doesn’t pass as qualifying yourself. You can do this by avoiding to talk about yourself. You can even be honest about your move. Something like, ‘I saw you from the other corner of the room and I thought I should make a move.’

After that, regardless of what her respond is, ask her some random leading questions that you can thereafter direct to an engaging conversation. Example, tell me something ‘bout yourself. Something I don’t already know.’

After she responds, reward her with a genuine compliment and encourage the behaviour.

Try to maintain your frame all through. A compliment like, ‘that sounds cool.’ ‘Or you look like someone I can really hang out with.’ Then lean towards her to show some interest.

The trick is to get her to talk more as you do a lot of attentive listening. Interjecting the conversation from time to time to direct it where you want it to go—very far from the friend zone.

Numerous opportunities will arise where she’ll inevitably find herself opening up and trying to qualify herself.

Make yourself a mystery
There should be a balance between the amount of information she gives and the amount she gets from you. Preferably, 2/3 hers and 1/3 yours.

This is NOT something hard to achieve, as people, especially chicks, love taking about themselves, their experiences and achievements. Just make it appear like hers are really special. At some point she’ll notice she’s given out too much info and she’ll insist on wanting to know a little more about you.

For instance, she might ask you about what you do. Don’t rash into spilling the details, instead try deflecting the question by answering her with something like ‘lots of stuff.’ But in a fun way. Or ‘I sell drugs.’ Or simply ‘nothing’ and be steel, more so if you have something to show your life ain’t that badly off.

She’ll want to know more about you. Plus, know why you aren’t willing to reveal much about yourself. That’s intrigue at its core.

She’ll feel like there’s something you’re hiding and her mission will be to try and dig it out. Women love challenges. You’d have given her one, thus reversing the role and making her do the chasing, much to your benefit.

Know Your Exit
Things don’t have to go according to plan. There’s a fair chance she may end up falling out of the script. If you’re experienced enough, you’ll know how to calibrate and keep her drawn. Otherwise you have to know when to walk away. Whatever you do, avoid latching.

And even when things seem to be working out, you have to find a way to walk away at least once and come back later. This should particularly be the case if you’re looking for a way to elude one of her questions you suspect answering may betray your mystery antic.

To boot, walking away also makes you appear less needy besides boosting your market value. She’ll keep on wondering whether she’s interesting enough to make you return, and in the process placing you way ahead of the giant competition you are in.

Things could take a very tricky turn. Some girls just don’t give in that easily. Instead of accepting the reversed roles, they’ll be fighting to get you into qualifying yourself instead, so they can lump you together with the long list of other guys they have in their filters. That’s what we call shit tests. Whatever you do, find a way to by-pass each one of them.

She might ask you to buy her a drink, or even push the tests even further to your balls. Something like ‘you look shy,’ ‘are you nervous.’ Answer ‘NO’ and you’d have screwed the pooch really hard.

Read the next article to find out about these shit tests and how to walk around them and maintain your frame.

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