05 Oct

From the Beta Archives of Failbook

During my last episodes of browsing through the boring walls of Failbook, I happen to have come across one of the most man-shaming images to ever have found its way to the trendie lines of the interweb. Uploaded by one of the perps of the humiliating act, the image sports two fully-grown adults (in their late thirties) who appears to have just finished engaging in what appears to have been 5 minutes of the world’s most boring, pubes-brushing missionary sex.

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From the look of it, it stands to be reasoned that the photo or better, ‘the after sex selfie,’ must have been taken by the man who pretty obvious couldn’t believe that he finally had managed to get his almost extinct genitalia inside a dick slalom after close to a half-of-a-life-time years of involuntary celibacy.

The status sniped together with the photo says it all. Grammar corrected, translated and rephrased, the caption reads “My bae and I just did the most enjoyable thing I have been longing to do since the day I was born. To be honest, this is the first time my dick has ever had the privilege of rubbing skin with a vaginal labium).

The woman on other hand seems relaxed, but somewhat harbors latent resentment to the man who’s just finished ejaculating clogged semen inside her cavernous sperm spittoon. Her mind is definitely NOT there, otherwise she would have stopped the man from going forth with his mission to let the whole world know that he’s just finished making someone queef. And he has the picture to serve as proof.

No more bullying him fellow village mates. What else do you want? Hasn’t he just proved that he’s NOT a Virgen!!!!

One of the most interesting things about this photo is that it makes every single man who happens to view it feel somehow superior—at least they didn’t wait until they’re 40 to know what it feels like to have sex.

If this picture portrayed what exactly was going through the guys mind while he was taking the picture, then there should be another term other than beta that better describes men of his ilk.

It’s easy to know what the man might have been telling the woman a few second before the image was captured and deliberately sneaked online for a determined likes-hunt.

“Listen ‘Barbie,’ I’m NOT like the rest of them who were quick to lose their virginity at the age of 12. I’m a respectable man of God who promised myself that I’ll only do it with the right woman God blesses me with. I don’t care how many men you’ve been with before me. I was celibate for 40 years just to keep myself pure for you. I will NEVER cheat on you Barbie.’

The problem with guys like this is that their betatudeness has hit incorrigible levels and NO amount of red pill is enough to transmute their condition. They live in their own reality, the one they took the initiative of warping it with misinterpreted bible ideologies.

The guy is obviously oblivious of the simple fact that the woman he just slept with has been with a long list of other men than both he and his sons will ever sleep with in their lifetime and that he should at least make an effort of going for a herpes diagnosis.

For those who left negative comments below the picture after seeing it I must say the picture still gives a whole lot of other reasons to be resubmitted for public shaming.

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