11 Nov

Practice This with Your Wingman

Besides giving you that prep talk, a wing man is there to back you up on the approaches make. He’s also got your back in case that AMOG decides to get physical with you.

Wingmen are loyal, self-sacrificing, and only there to ensure that you do NOT head home alone, without a trim.

Anyone you consider a close friend can be a wing, but the more social savvy your wing is, the better.

Though very instrumental when picking up two sets, your wingman can also prove to be useful when picking up a single set.

Here’s something to practice with your wingman for a sure ticket to pussyland if played right:

Spot a target. Then position yourself at least 5 paces from where she is. It’ll be good if you make it appear like you’re minding your own business, NOT moseying around waiting for that perfect opportunity to talk to the girl.

Let your wing pretend like he’s just noticed the girl and approach her. Continue doing what it is you were doing without acknowledging her or whatever your wing is doing on the other end. You can talk to random people, continue shopping or do whatever it is that prevents your ship from sinking.

Here’s the stack routine your wingman should be running in the meantime:

Wingman: Yea, I remember you. We met at (a friend’s name) birthday party about two months ago. We were with my girlfriend and she couldn’t just stop talking about you when we left. She said you were such a fun person to talk to.

(Nothing of that actually happened. The story is all made up just to get her into talking).

The chick: I think you have me confused with someone else.

Wingman: What do you mean? I remember you saying you love swimming or was it rock climbing. I have the perfect memory. My girlfriend must have your number.  

The chick: I don’t even know how to swim. Never been that big on rock climbing either.

(He can digress and ask her about what she likes to do during her free time).

Wingman: Been a while anyway, I must have forgotten what you mentioned. So what is it that you do for fun?

The chick: Play basketball. Or hang indoors playing chess.

(Whatever she says just pretend like your friend is also into it).

Wingman: You must be a genius to play chess. Or “swimming is fun.” My friend over there also plays chess. He’s so into it that I sometimes hate it when I want to go out and he insists on finishing that one game that always ends up eating two to three hours of our drinking time.

Or my friend has been swimming ever since he was little. He’s really good at it. I must introduce him to you.

(The wing then proceeds to wave at you, signaling you to come. But you point at yourself hesitantly, as if you’re NOT sure you’re the one he’s calling.

 Wingman: (Upon your arrival) Hey, (your name) thought you were the only nerd alive still interested in chess. Or “thought you were the only weirdo who still thinks swimming is fun even when it’s raining)”.

Met Joan (any chick’s name you can come up with) two months ago at (your friend’s name) party that you refused to come. She’s into swimming too, but pretty cool to talk to.

You: Hey Joan, I’m surprised my friend met someone who likes the same hobbies as me and didn’t even bother to mention it before.

PS:

First the wingman disqualifies himself as a potential suitor by mentioning that he has a girlfriend. This serves to prevent the chick from thinking he harbors other intentions other than being excited about chatting up a friend he thought he’ll never meet again.

He brushes everything the girl says about NOT being at the party just to keep the conversation going on to the point where he’ll ask his buddy to come over, making it appear like he’s setting them up, but NOT in a manner that the chick might suspect anything.

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