You’ve probably heard of congruence and how it affects your approaches.
Apparently women aren’t interested in what you say as much as they’re interested in how you say it. They can tell when you’re bluffing or when the alpha posturing is NOT real.
Like dogs, they can sniff out fear and neediness even before you open your mouth to say anything.
They can see through your body language; sniff though the subtlest non-verbal faux pas and be able to tell if you’re indeed the man you’re trying portray.
Girls subconsciously notice a lot of things. Ever been blown off by a chick with whom you thought you had a flawless prior engagement? And tried racking your brains hard but couldn’t suss out where exactly you went wrong?
Well, there’s a fair chance your body language betrayed you. She couldn’t just see some congruence between your words and body language, no matter how entertaining your badinage seemed to be.
Take a look at some of the movie characters (James bond, Tom Cruise, Ryan Gosling and Jason Statham in particular), and if there’s something you like about them even more than whatever comes out of their mouth is their body language, especially when around women.
You’ll NEVER see these guys fidgeting, hover handing, pecking, being too stiff or talking too fast when around women.
Instead, they know how to draw attention all to themselves through their eye contact, facial gesturing, kino, and alpha stance.
Here are some elements to observe if you’re looking to improve your body language.
The alpha Walk
You don’t just sneak up to a girl and talk her into a number close or date close without walking towards her first.
If anything attraction has to be build the first thing the target catches sight of you. When entering, working the crowd, and finally sauntering towards her, make everything read alpha.
So how do you move?
Well, start by calming your nerves, getting that relaxed lion-like posture and attitude when you spot the target.
Act like the man in control or the owner of the place surveying his territory.
Regardless of where you are, always assume you’re right at home.
Think of yourself as the lion and the rest of the people as the subservient animals of the jungle.
When you spot a girl you like, get over the hoopla first before making a move. Don’t just rush towards her, unless the girl is in a sort of hurry and you’re afraid you might lose her should you fail to act fast.
View yourself as the pimp while walking towards her. Talk to other girls as you walk and avoid making it appear like you’ve all along been plotting to approach her.
Dominating eye contact can make a girl want to sleep with you.
Look her straight into the eye much longer than you find it comfortable. Taking breaks in between pauses.
Triangulate when you want to kiss close. That is, looking her from the right eye to the left one, then to the lips and back on the right eye to repeat the sequence three or four times.
The Right stance
Learn to stand with your legs shoulder-width apart when talking to a girl. Own the ground you stand on, with one foot pointing forward and the other one pointing outwards.
Try imagining of yourself as a badass soldier. Your head should be high, your chest up, your abs tucked in and your shoulder back.
Learn to stand tall and very proud, occupying the center spot when in a group.
Never tuck your hands in your pocket or cross them over your chest. If you have a drink in your hand, hold it by your side down the waist.
When sitting, lean back with your legs spread wide apart as if you want the whole world to behold your brassy balls.
Don’t hesitate to touch the girl at any opportunity you get.
Embark on comfort building with the first word you utter.
Your touch should first appear innocuous, but as you continue talking, let your hand roam to her inner thighs, waist and upper back.
The point is to make her get used to your touches and thus make it easy for you to escalate.
It’s important that you avoid touching her butt, bra strap or face until later on when you’ll be making out.
Lastly, hold her by the waist when moving her around.
Adjusting your Smiles
You don’t just smile randomly or at any instance when talking to a girl. Your smiles should be well-calculated, and delivered in restricted bouts and only when it’s necessary.
Smile while approaching the girl. But NOT in an exaggerating manner.
Drop the smile after you introduce yourself, otherwise you’ll risk coming off as an attention seeker.
Don’t laugh at your jokes, and don’t laugh at every joke she makes. You can instead smile when she says something funny and respond along the lines of “I find your sense of humor adorable, unlike most girls.”
Hold Your Ground
When another guys wants to pass, don’t be too languid to clear the way for him. Instead, make him go around you.
Don’t be that crowd-pleasing beta that would jump at the opportunity to step out of the way and let the person pass.
Do the same for the girl. If she wants to get her bag or reach out for her drink, don’t rush into handing it over for her. Instead make her reach for it herself.
Face the Crowd and avoid facing the girl directly
Make the girl face you as you face the crowd, and NOT directly at her until she qualifies herself to you. The trick is to make her fight for your attention and NOT make it appear like she already has it.
Learn to keep your body angled, hinting you’ll leave should the girl turn out to be boring.
This rule doesn’t apply when you’re approaching girls during the day. You might want to face them directly to avoid setting them to a flight mode.
Learn to talk slowly, leaving the room space for them to chime in and ask questions.
Instead of talking too fast, learn to be a good listener, who only interrupts to direct the conversation where you want to see it headed.
Keep your volume slightly higher than the average person in the group and if you can, use a deep, slow voice and only speak when you have something important to say.