04 Mar

The Two Programs I hate: “Are you My Type” and “Tujuane”


I hate “Are you My Type.” Hate “Tujuane” even more.

This is a feeling I have always had since the two programs premiered. Ever wished that something could prove you wrong? Only for it to end up proving you right? That pretty much explains my disappointment.

Two programs, each hosted by a horrible looking chick and the world’s most uninteresting simulacra of a guy. I have never seen them introduce the programs and say to myself “that’s a fun program coming.”

I’ll start with “Are you my Type.”

There’s no way this could have made it as a fun program had they even tried.

First we have the fugly host appearing and introducing what appears to be the world’s most boring program. Then her words getting echoed by a guy you wish could just keep his mouth shut the whole fucking time.

They’ll then call names, and some random guy or chick would show up, dancing. Moving from side to side, trying so hard to impress. A clear sign she’s fresh from shagz.

That’s when you hold your breath, praying the next guy would have a shred of dignity left and NOT embarrass himself like that on air. Only to be disappointed six times in a row, as the six chaps featured on the program follow suit.

There are two ways I like to describe the chicks on the program: It’s either the three chicks appearing on the show are super ugly [all of them] or two of them are really ugly and the other one is the hottest of the bunch. No in-betweens. So you can guess how the rest of the show would be like.

Then comes the unlucky bastards. You wonder what on earth are they doing on this stupid show? How desperate must they be to go on TV to look for girlfriends. Are they acting?

Nope. So what then?

The ugly chicks will be all in smiles, trying to cover the seething resentment they hold for the cute one, if there’s one, that is. Longing to be seen as desirable, the first one will be handed the mic and asked to throw a random question at the guys.

Everything will appear scripted, but it’s only until the question comes out that it’ll hit you, she was seriously hoping that she’d find a husband on the show. One with amped sense of humour, charisma, good income and good looks to cement it up. What a sure way to get disappointed!

I have nothing against the questions asked. But the answers that come straight out of the mouth of the guys is what makes me want to barf.

That’s when it hits me, the more beta you make your answers, the greater the odds that the chick will actually be interested in going out with you. So basically, ‘Are you My Type only works for those very low on testosterone. A dead-end for studs and machos if I must say.

The chicks appearing on the show will either be prudes, bitchy or too insular. The bitchy one will be relatively cute. She’ll be picked, but fail to turn up for the date.

In my opinion, “Are You My Type” didn’t deserve a male audience.” You look at the show and the first thing that pops out of your mind is “Thank God I’m NOT any of those guys.”

Tujuane is Next Online

If I can define, Tujuane is the elder brother to “are you my type.” The show came in when the programs in our TV screens were a little fun, only to draw that last nail on the coffin.

Though mostly scripted, the program boasts some real-time unscripted action. I agree.

That episode where a high-schooler gets slapped by some old mama. There’s no way that could have been scripted.

From what I have seen, guyz need Fabbo.Tips more than they need Tujuane. I’m not planning to review the program in detail, ’cause I’ll be picking random episodes from the show and using them to pass my message across.

Showing up in either of the programs, as a male contender; that alone makes you a sucker. I’d rather have you spend the 45 minutes going through what we have in our archives, than see you waste that whole fucking time watching such a nonsensical program.

Note: Wrote this article a year back. I understand the programs were brought to an abrupt end. You don’t need to Remind me.

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