25 Jan

3 Reasons Why you Shouldn’t Marry in Your 20s

I’m a just few years shy of 30. Not contemplating marriage, but if I ever feel the need for it, then I’ll wait until I’m at least 36 years of age to even think about it.

I have made all the silly mistakes guys make in their 20s. But NO regrets; learned a lot in the process.

I have fallen in love, been a victim of an one-itis, hated myself, been hurt, or better, I have gone through almost everything a typical guy goes through in life before finally finding his bearing. To cut a long story short, my 20s have been a long wild journey whose events have all played part in shaping up who I am.

From my ongoing out-of-wedlock fornications, I have only put one chick in the pudding club. There could be more baby mamas out there, but at the moment, this is the only one I’m aware of. So I guess that merits me the right to call myself, a father.

It bears repeating that my 20s have been more of a learning trajectory. It’s at this stage in life that I also came to this conclusion: “Never marry in your 20s.”

These three reasons explain it all:

  1. You’re too young to understand the undercurrents of a relationship

It takes so much more than mutual love to make marriage work. Of course, love is at the center of it, but even with that, there’s so  much more to the depth of it than the limerance.

According to a recent study, the first feeling people have towards each other the first couple of months of being together is passionate and romantic love. The problem is that this sort of love isn’t meant to last. At least NOT a life time.

The kind of love that kicks in after that, companionate love, is what’s supposed to take you until “death do us part.” *I’m not making any of this up, the links are all down below.

A great majority of couples tends to separate at the limbo—when passionate and romantic love wears out, setting the room for companionate love. The reasons cited will be along the lines of I’m NOT attracted to her anymore.

It’s at this point that some men decide to introduce the possibility of an open relationship, while a great majority will simply just call it off and hook up with a fresh trim. As for the rest, they’ll only hope they don’t get busted cheating.

For reasons relating to having been in only a few relationships, guys in their 20s don’t actually understand the mechanics behind all this. They’ll simply sever when they realize they’re NO longer attracted sexually to their partners, instead of hanging in there a little longer as they buy time for companionate love to grow.  

  1. Not the Right Time to Make Decisions

Science has confirmed that people change the most in their 20s. You’re simply NOT you in your 20s, but on the verge of self discovery.

It’s until you hit age 30 that your core personality finally gets to see the light. In other words, people tend to understand themselves better after their 30s.

This is no ironclad rule as the path to self-discovery doesn’t always just end there. This could go all the way until the age of 50. But it’s in your 20s that you get to learn much about yourself, and it’s for this reason that all the serious life decisions are better saved until you’re at least 35 years of age.

  1. You’re more attractive at 30 than you are at 20

Odds are the hot girl you’re swooning over at 20 will be the average girl you’ll be friend-zoning at age 30.

This is because you’ll be at your most attractive at age 30. When  women turn 30, their market value dwindles. But for men, that’s exactly when it peaks up.

Another way to look at it is that at 30, that’s when you’ll be more confident, more powerful, less needy, emotionally more stable… in brief, everything an ego-tripping HB would want for a guy she wouldn’t mind banging.

To cap it all, a guy at 30 has more options when it comes to deciding who to fuck than a 20 year old. Which is to say should he decide to settle down at that age, he’ll be making that decision NOT out of lust or the need to have a constant supply of puntang, but a list of personal preferences that can go a long way into making his marriage life even more enjoyable.

 

Resources:

http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327957pspr0301_3

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/11/how-much-can-you-really-change-after-30.html

http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/gpr/13/1/59/

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3 thoughts on “3 Reasons Why you Shouldn’t Marry in Your 20s

  1. It’s good to read one of your posts again. I always look forward for them. Tend to disagree with some of what you post, but I love this blog. Just make them regular.

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