I have been friends with girls whose boyfriends felt threatened by my presence. Some even went to an extent of giving them the ultimatum to have me dropped or watch the relationship suffer.
I have also been on the threatened end. One of my exes did ask me to accompany her to a party she was invited while we were still dating, and the first thing she did when we got there was introduce me to some jacked up guy who from a casual glance was everything better than me.
He was better dressed and I couldn’t match him up in terms of looks. I for once felt threatened. I could see myself losing the chick to him.
Then we got to hang out, and the more I got to know him, the more I realized I was so much better than him, and the more I became less insecure whenever I saw him palling up with my gal.
The guy rocked in terms of looks and dressing, but lacked the charm which apparently was my biggest asset.
I’m NOT trying to imply that this will always be the case. If anything I know guys who are better looking, make more money and are way more fun to talk to compared to me .
They’re simply what I’m trying to achieve. And would I feel threatened if it happens they’re befriending a chick I’m spinning, esp one that I have developed some sort of attachment to?
Of course yes.
But what really matters is how you handle the situation. You appear threatened and you’ll be communicating a low SMV.
Chicks know this and will some time do it deliberately, as a shit test. A common one is a chick snapping up with a guy she considers high value and uploading it on social media then waiting to weigh your reaction.
You make the mistake to confront her or appear butt hurt and she’ll perceive you as low value, and which to her comes as an opportunity to branch swing higher.
One thing I also learned is that you don’t talk down a guy who hasn’t tried to AMOG you. If anything, uttering a simple statement like “I like him” is 10 times better and more alpha than chiming in with negative comments about him.
Ditto for an LTR’s ex boyfriend. If it’s clearly he was higher value, then trying to put him down will only lower your value in her eyes. If an LTR brings him up in positive light, the best response should be “he sounds like a really cool guy.”
I would still do the same when the LTR says something negative about him. Instead of agreeing with whatever she’s saying I’d response with “there must been something cool about him. Otherwise you wouldn’t have dated.”
The harsh reality is that you’re NOT the coolest of the guys your GF will be meeting during your time together. AAF, you’re lucky if she considers you higher value than her boss.
But unless these people try to be asshole to you, you just don’t get to put them down, ever. You don’t win a chick over by bringing down the competition you have, but by demonstrating an insouciant higher value.
If I remember clearly, an ex once called me and told me how she thinks her current boyfriend is hotter than me. Guess she expected me to fold . But I didn’t. Instead I was like “make sure you don’t screw him up. That might be the only opportunity you’ve got to date someone hotter.”
There’s nothing we can do to square out the injustice of the universe serving us with the bad genes. It’s either you knuckle down and compensate it with something else, or suck it up and go on with minding your business.
If you’re in a social setting, the best thing to do when you spot a much better guy chumming up with a chick you’re spinning is to go talk to him. Beta guys try to avoid guys who are better than them, but alpha guys recognize realness and wouldn’t mind stretching out their hands and offering friendship.
And never forget the fact that the only way to keep your girl attracted to you is to work on yourself and improve where necessary. Eat healthy and hit the gym if you feel threatened by his muscles. You even have a better chances of making it happen by hitting up the guy and asking him for some primers on how to go on about it.
In short, you must train yourself NOT to let it bother you. She goes, she goes. The new improved you probably puts you in an even more favorable position to find someone better.