Women just happen to be an accompaniment, given when your mind is kinda settled on all matters women, it automatically becomes easier for you to focus on what really matters, bettering your life.
It’s for this reason that redpillers coined the word Monk Mode for RPM and Nun Mode for RPW, both of which denote the period where one is to forego dating or sex completely until they make an effort to improve their life.
During this period, one is expected to work towards obtaining self-sufficiency and self-awareness, with the only condition to engage in sex thereafter being achieving the two.
This comes as a solution to two things i) serial dating or monkey branching, which makes you dependable on others, instead of looking deep within for a way to better your life. Take for instance, your ex girlfriend was a bit of a bore. So you broke up with her to get someone who’s more fun. But upon jumping on another LTR train immediately thereafter, you realise she’s a former carouser, and that strikes her off as a potential mate for anything long term.
Now instead of hoping from chick to chick, you decide to stay off dating until you you re-calibrate your mate picker.
For chicks, the example could go for you dating a party boy who’s never serious about anything in life. So you decide to get into another relationship with a 9 to 5 guy on a payslip who appear to have his life figured, only to realize he’s a control freak you’ll never be comfortable living with. Or he just has esteem issues that you don’t find attractive.
So instead of continuing the chain by jumping into other relationship immediately after, you decide to get into a nun-mode until you get your priorities right.
- ii) You get into monk mode to avoid acting desperate. The moment it feels like you’re trying so hard to net a date, you stop and shift your focus elsewhere.
I’m a firm believer that if you really want to date someone, then it should come naturally and NOT look like some sort of interview with a deadline and check list.
Dating is more fun when there’s a mutual connection. You meet someone and you connect and there are no second guesses as to whether they’re fit to be your first mate.
Monk mode allows you to focus on the important aspect of your life as you await nature to take its course.
What to do During Monk Mode/ Nun Mode
No sex. This teaches you uphold your standards and stay disciplined while at it. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be going out and meeting people. It instead means meeting people with no intention of dating or having sex with them.
I have had my fair share of the monk mode, and during this time, I went on picking up women and exchanging numbers with them as usual. But only to friend zone or ignore them next.
From what I noted, monk mode saved me from being a radical people’s picker. Instead of meeting people with a checklist of the things I want in them, I started looking for how well I get to connect with them.
It also allowed me to see the new in people instead of trying to compare these women with the women I have had in the past.
It’s during this time that I learned to be realistic with some of the things I’m looking for. That’s when I realized that the kind of women that I thought I wanted almost never existed.
The goals you set for monk mode should be very different from all the other goals you set. As already mentioned, monk mode is more about self-sufficiency and self-awareness.
For self-awareness, you’ll be taking time to truly understand you and what it is that you really want in life . You’re to dedicate all that time to observing you and identifying both your strengths and weaknesses.
You thereafter jot them down on paper and find a way to work on them.
For self-sufficiency, that’s when you learn to derive all your joy and happiness from within. Also, FWIT, that’s when you realize that no one actually owes you happiness, and that if you don’t get to do something to make yourself happy, then expect no one else will be doing it for you.
Getting into the Monk Mode
You can start by cutting off all contact. The best way to do this is to call all the romantic prospects in your life and tell them that you’ll be breaking all contact ‘cause of some projects you’re involved with.
Don’t go on mentioning about the monk mode or what you’re about to do. Whatever excuse you come with, try to make it as vague as possible without getting into detail. Let all your romantic prospects know that you won’t be contacting them during this time but you will be after, say, six months should there be a need for it.
During this time, it’s advisable to avoid approaching women for the first three months, considering you need this time to work on yourself. Try to do away with distractions or anything that might get in the way of your goals.
In case you get to meet girls in the process, let them know that you won’t be available for chatting for at least six month ‘cause you’re kind of indisposed that whole time.
Knowing Who You Really Are
This is all about setting bounds to your personal integrity. You want people to respect you and never piss all over your personality, well first learn who you really are and accept it.
Take for instance, if you find out that you’re a great writer during this time. Should someone at some point decide to make fun of it by pointing out some of the writing mistakes that you make, don’t fold. If you do, then you lose your personal integrity.
The statements you make about yourself should NOT be up for challenge. Think of it as your frame. This is one area you should perfect to a point that you can stand up to anyone and shut them off.
This has got nothing to do with the outward perception of you. What other people see might be very different from what you perceive of yourself. But that doesn’t matter ‘cause that’s never going to change your perception of you.
You can be anything—a risk taker, fearless, intellectual, charismatic or leader. That’s what you are and is final both on paper and in the streets.
Knowing What You Want?
You’re NOT the kind that falls for just about anything that throws itself your way. You’re principled and that’s what sets you apart from an endless list of other people out there.
Your decide when to open your options or keep them closed.
You also don’t shy away from making decisions. You’re never weak and neither do you avoid taking risks, ‘cause by wanting it means you’ll be going for it. No excuses.
Go ahead and set your standards, making sure you’ll never fall for anything less than that.
If you’re into the lanky and tarnish type, that’s exactly what you’ll be going for every time an opportunity presents itself.
Keep in mind that you wont be making any adjustment once you finalize your decision.
Once you know what you want, you will be bold and confident. You will lead automatically. You will inspire both trust and admiration.
Attaining Emotional Stability
You don’t need anyone to be happy. Only yourself.
You even decide what’s fun or NOT fun for you. This doesn’t in any way imply that you don’t need other people.
The point is, you’re your own source of happiness.
Here’s how you know you have attained emotional stability:
- Nothing anyone says ever gets to you. You decide what to wear, whom to hang out with or what music to listen to without caring a whit about what the outside world thinks.
- You don’t waste money on what you don’t need. If you don’t need a TV set, you don’t get one.
- You don’t shift or adjust your beliefs so as NOT hurt someone. If someone doesn’t like what you believe in, let them gladly have the door.
- You don’t rush to correct other people. Neither are you affected by what they believe in,no matter how stupid their belief is. Simple—you believe in whatever you want to believe in, but act like anybody else. If they find out that you’re different, let it be out of your actions and NOT words. If people are debating about something you’re pretty sure your opinion won’t change a thing, keep your mouth shut.
- You don’t care about the lies said about you. They don’t affect you ‘cause no one knows you better.
By doing this, you learn to do things without caring about the outcome so long as you’re doing them right. You also learn to be your own man, one who doesn’t rely on being validated by other people. If someone thinks you’re a loser, then yeah, they’re entitled to their opinion, but that’s not what you think of yourself.
How Long Should the Monk Mode Go
There’s no limit as to how long should the monk mode go. But the standard mode period is six month. You can decide to make it shorter, say, three months or longer like a year. The choice is always with you.
What’s important is that there has to be a time frame attached to it; you choose to remain disciplined for this period of time and if you wouldn’t have achieved what you wanted during this time, then you’ll be extending it for this another period of time.
From My Personal Experience
At no time have I been offered so much pussy out of the blue than my time in monk mode. It took so much discipline on my part to turn them down and remain